“So how did you come to get intimate with your feelings and yourself?”

“They’re just so big! I couldn’t avoid them.” And, “I found therapy in college.”

This exchange evolved a handful of years ago as Gwyneth Paltrow interviewed Kerry Washington and discussed staying mentally & emotionally fit for Goop podcast’s Women on Top, a special series celebrating female game changers.

Speaking to how she was raised, Kerry shared the adults in her family always hid their feelings, insisting, “I’m fine, everything’s fine” even when it was not.

“All of the adults in my life were saying, ‘Everything’s fine.’ And it wasn’t. And the message I got was: don’t have feelings, and if you’re having them, lie about them, and do not be intimate with your feelings.”

Gwyneth then asked Kerry how she came to “get intimate” with not only her feelings but herself. To which Kerry replied, “They’re just so big! I couldn’t avoid them,” and that she “found therapy in college.”  Prior to college, Kerry’s mother enrolled her in theatre camp, which she used as an outlet for her “big” feelings and emotions.

After noting how grateful she was for finding therapy in college, at a time she felt she really needed it, Kerry shared that she’d “been in and out of therapy” for the majority of her life.

When someone asked if she thought being in and out of therapy throughout her life was a problem, and suggested she might need a different therapist, Kerry’s epic response was:

“Oh no … I’m not in it to be done. This is a gift I give to myself. The way I have a trainer for my body,  [therapy is] my mental trainer. I want to give myself the mental and emotional support to stay in shape, mentally and emotionally. For myself, for my work, for my family.”

Gwyneth agreed with Kerry’s relationship with therapy, adding, “I would be a basket case without my therapist, I think.”

Me too, Gwyneth, me too.

 What are your thoughts on therapy? How were feelings and emotions handled in your family, if at all? How are you managing your feelings and emotions now?

For self-guided support, check out this emotional wealth journaling prompt, and start creating your own emotional wealth toolkit.

PHOTOS: Getty Images for Goop

If you think you need professional support please explore your options sooner rather than later. 988 is the national help line for free and confidential conversations (988lifeline.org). You may also want to check with your employer’s health/medical plan or their EAP (employee assistance program) which may offer an initial set of sessions free. Your local city or state may have resources as well.

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